hairy scary

So I thought I was going to have this amazing 'bridal' experience last night.  I even wore my coveted, untouched Wedding Chick's vintage-style 'BRIDE Mrs. Allen' shirt to get my trial bridal hair run through.  I mean really when I am ever going to wear it, except for the fact that it is super comfortable, so it may be every day.

Isn't it fantastic?! I know I build up everything in my head so BIG that god himself couldn't live up to it.  And then I get extreemly disappointed when those things don't happen, not all the time, well yes all the time.  I expect perfection out of everything and everyone, but understand that sometimes, for lack of a better phrase, 'shit happens'.  Unfortunately I feel like it always happens to me!

So I just figured that I wouldn't like the first few trials, but that something amazing would happen and I would be spun around in the spiny chair to face the mirror and just light up with excitement - that did not happen.  I left the salon thinking that I had an OK hair style that would work for Saturday (bridal photo shoot).  Then I kept looking at the pictures and my body that hasn't changed as much as I would have liked - in total disgust.  I have grown to hate, despise the 'OK hair-do'.

I really didn't think that OK hair was really bridal, perfect day, how to kick off the rest of your life - so I really wasn't incredibly disappointed until later that night.  It took an awful turn and I ended up just absolutely hating, which I know is a strong word - or so I've been told, but really hating that day, that time which was suppose to be fun and bubbly - was not.  Which I know, really keeping my fingers crossed, that my wedding day is not that way.  I, including several other people, have worked very hard to make it that way.  I know it's the last month before the wedding and breakdowns happen, but I was just so disappointed.  To top it off my bridal shoot is on Saturday, I haven't heard anything about my dress, haven't made my petticoat, and still don't know what in the hell to do with my hair, or where my veil will sit - I want to cry.

So tonight, I'm going craft shopping - that should put my mind at ease.  Make a few crafts, buy some makeup for the wedding - for the love of god, let's hope this isn't as dramatic as the hair.  I don't wear much make up - eyeshadow one, maybe two colors if I'm feeling feisty, mascara, Carmex always, and maybe a dab of gloss if it's not a sticky kind.  Please keep me and, once again, the poor sole that has to check me out at Sephora in your thoughts - send only GOOD vibes.  Buddha knows I'm not trying to be THAT mean and I'm extreemly sorry upfront - I don't know what I'm doing, but know what I like.